LoV3 !S 4 L!F3

hye all..wat’s up?..2 more days to go b4 my ass touch down in Myy…havent pack my bag yet…i dont even know wat i wanna bring back home…the must bring will be my laptop, passport, wallet…a bit of my cloth of coz…haih, i hv da feeling of sadness plak suddenly…for sure coz i will nvr see my cayunk n mi novio for the last time…huhu…mi novio too busy, as well as cayunk…hope will meet them on june =)

today, i got inspired to write blog…juz sumthing dat i wanna share wit u guys…basically its abt life…n the path dat u choose…

last 2 week, there was this 1 gurl yg keje at my place got married…congratulations…eventhough they are not so ‘match made in heaven’, dah jodoh kan…but, wat makes me wanna write abt it is the gurl age…she is juz 19 YEARS OLD…FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD!…and her guy is around 30 SUMTHING AGE…u got wat i mean?…she’s so beautiful gurl but end up marrying sum1 dat really old for her…its not dat i wanna kutuk or sumthing…but…consider dis, she’s juz 19 but already married…i mean, how come dat u really know u r ready to be a mom when u juz finish high school?..FOR SURE, I DONT…come on, she’s 19 n happily married compared to me, 20, single n still killing my brain to count how many trusses dat i should used to replicate another KLCC!

I juz cant imagine dat next year she’s going to have a baby…GOD!…wat happen to da world today?…its not like i against married at young age…i dont…my mom got married when she was 22 n my dad was 23…n i’m so proud of having them as my parent…but, wat’s killing me is teenager rite now making so easy desicion…when u fall in love, too much n cant resist…juz get married…i know, according to Islamic Laws of Marriage, it is WAJIB to get married if u r so horny…but, why cant u consider the consequences aftr the marriage…u gonna have babies…people like now love to have big family…beranak bnyk2…mcm pompuan ni kilang buat anak je…aftr dat, ur babies gonna grow up n going to school…

people nowdays dont really consider the children performance during their school days…asl pegi skolah, dat’s it…x kisah la ur sons or daughters dpt nombor corot ke, fail ke…it means nothing to u at all…it really breaks my heart to have parents yg hv those kind of thinking….especially young parents…

juz really hit my curiousity…how do u know U ARE READY?…or u actually nvr thing abt wat happen aftr marriage?…the responsibility of the family…i dont think i am…until today, if ade org masuk meminang, even if its my dearest bf (if i hv one)..i will say no…i juz cant picture myself as A MOTHER at age of 20!…to me, women should have education b4 getting married…education in da sense of knowing how to become a wife n future mother…my mom always told me that…tell me wat do u know abt being a mom at age 19?…xkan nak harap kat parents n parents in law…

Marriage is not abt SEX n HAPPY LIFE AS COUPLE…it means more than dat…u become attached to another new life n position…position dat only u can decide whether u wanna stay or u wanna leave…BIG RESPONSIBILITIES behind marriage…people said marriage is a ONE LIFE TIME COMMITMENT…u hope dat once u get married, it last forever…but when u get married juz based on the ‘happy life’ potrayed by other married people, u juz dont realise wat type of world u got urself into.

hillie 1203

hye all…how u guys doing?…mesti ade yg dah siap packing rite?…x sabar nak balik Miri…but i guess i’m da only 1 wit dat feeling…org lain prefer to stay at their house…i cant wait to go back Miri n face the future stress…hahaha…=P

well, i didnt know wat to write actually. Again, for wat number of times, i’m having a really despondent feeling. I HATE DAT FEELING…but it keeps on coming during the unwanted time. I really dont know how to deal wit it…da only thing i know, i need to make myself busy…when i’m busy, i nvr think abt stupid stuff…da MAIN reason why i wanna go back to Miri ASAP.

1 thing for sure, my boys are leaving me 1 by 1. I guess this IS the time…i hv to face the fact that NO ONE makes me happy…no one like my family…1st, my sayang pegi Perth…2nd, my baby is no longer my baby…he’s with sum1 else…wat realy makes me upset, he didnt even tell me abt it…he even change his number witout my acknowledgement…my wish come true akhirnye…he vanish…juz like dat…no longer wit me…no longer my friend…i really hope he dont even remember me at all…like i was never exist in his life b4…I REALLY WISH FOR DAT…

talking abt job, next monday is MY LAST DAY OF WORK!. yeay!…i love working over there…the people is so friendly…eventhough adela yg kerek sikit…as usual…sume tmpt ade kan…i guess, i miss the people dat lighting up my days =)

i juz cut my hair…hehehe…=D

still waiting for my last payment to go shopping…=D

I WANNA BE FEMINIST. RULE MY WORLD WITHOUT GUYS.

hillie 1203

hye all…how’s everyone going?..getting bored yg teruk kan?…believe me…i know how it feels…thank god coz i need to work time raya cina nnt…xdela boring sgt…well, talk abt dat…rase cm malas je nak g keje but bile pikir psl duit yg dpt…i’m so pump up man…hahahha…shopping x abis2 je =P

today, 1st February 2008…genapla umur adik aku 18 tahun…hahahaha…he is all grown up…taller than me…wiser than me…happy burfday Mohd Saifulhanif bin Abdul Halim…moga panjang umur n sentiase dimurahkan rezeki oleh Allah s.w.t….love u, always n forever =)

since adik aku dah besar ni…i start to feel left out…wanna know why?…coz i used to be part of his world…i remembered when he was a little kid, he doesnt wanna play wit any gurl except me…and then, he totally listened to every single of my instruction…he is really a stone headed person…watever he wants, he will get it…no matter wat…i remembered once he wanted a ‘Mc Fly’ shoe (to whoever watched Back To The Future Part II, there was a shoe wit light below the ankle worn by the main actor? that shoe)…wanna know wat abt dat shoe?…we found it n wanna buy it for Raya shopping if i wasnt mistaken…da worst part, he wanted da one on display!…my mom bg mcm2 alasan to him to buy a new pair…but he wanted da display shoe jgk…coz he doesnt trust da new pair will be as good as the display…hahahhaa…n then, there was a lorry bought by my dad at Kuantan…da lorry hv a contena body n its hard to open it…my dad suggest him to use spoon to open it…there was once, we met with the repectionist in the hotel lobby…she asked wat’s wit the spoon?…my bro told her dat my dad asked to used it to open the lorry body…hahhaha..dat guy, doesnt know how to cover up story la…so memalukan…our family doesnt own a car, so we used public transport n taxis to walk around…he hates ugly n old taxi…once my dad queued for a taxi n we got da old one…he cried like hell becoz he doesnt wanna to ride the old n ugly taxi…hmmmm…my brother…history of him =)

i told abt being left out rite?…hmmmm…i guess, i used to be really overprotective to him…he is my priority in any situation…i remembered once both of used went to agama school in da evening…he supposed to ride a same bus wit me…since his class finished b4 me, i assume he was already in da bus…when i reached da bus n look for him…he was not in there…i freaked like hell…told da bus driver to wait…looked 4 him all around da school compound…dah penat cari, juz tawakal n went back home…sampai je umah, i cried frm tangga bwh umah lg…my mom igt sumthing bad happen ka…i told her, i lost my bro…she asked me where did he go…i told her i didnt know…thank god he not da only 1 went missing dat day…few of his friends as well…checked on his friends…rupenye, they all took a different bus…he scared the hell of me…n once, he being attacked by his gastric…i thought he was going to die…he looks so pale…thank god ade dis one uncle help me…

die dah 18 today but i still treat him like he was a kid…kdg2 like i really want him to be my small brother again….so, i will worried less abt him…eventhough he looks like so tough, hati die quite sensitive…hope he gonna achieve watever he wants in his life…he will hv my support on everything dat he wants..i dont know when i can juz stop to protect him n face da fact dat he already big enough to take care of himself…i’m still his sister…his overprotective sister =)

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hillie 1203