LoV3 !S 4 L!F3

we meet again…lately ni, i know dat ppl read my blog…love the comment guys….keep it up…today’s blog gonna be long…so, bare wit me k….

The title speaks for itself….yesterday, kitorg sume keluar pegi sahur pukul 2.30 am…priority agenda is nak pegi pantai….which is dapat!!!!!….sukenye. ..i havent been to beach 4 a long time….tp 1 main crazy thing yg kitorg x sempat nak buat…makan ice-cream kat beach

B4 heading to the beach, kitorg melantak kat Perwira yg terkenal dgn service yg god damn slow…i’ve been there like thousands of times…juz wanna kill them man….siput x lembab sampai cmtu skali….hampeh btl…sume org dgn gembira je mkn except Jiji coz her food lmbt gile siap…mee goreng je kot…sakit btl…Kenx plak order teh tarik dangdut…most of us watched the Erra n Yusry pny cerita…lupe tajuk ape…Salaam la y paling concentrate skali…he like dat story…gile x blh blah…n we have sum discussion on topic related to that story…Medi said that gurl mangsa kpd guy…which totally dibangkang Salaam…Nini dgn comelnye tido kat atas meja makan…i still x puas hati dgn statement my sweetheart…"salah lelaki tu x bgtau yg die x suke kat perempuan tu or salah perempuan tu yg x tny lelaki tu either he likes her or not?"….tu dah jatuh memalukan…to me…not every gurl nak guy tau wat her feelings towards him…as a guy, they should make da 1st move n dont send a wrong vibe yg boleh leads to misinterpretation on the gurl side…i told them….guys need to have a "school of mengorat"…Salaam bangkang coz "every moves need to come in natural way"…hmmmm…if dah mamat tu mmg x reti pape, cmne?…myb that’s where the cuteness of that guy muncul….sumthing to think abt…

1 of the best event of da day is….Medi suap Sekam n likewise…comel je…u guys should see how she blush gile2 punye dat nite…Kenx plak buat sampah…kate dah dpt shot tp die lupe nak store dlm hp…bengong mamat tu…nasib baik 1 shot lg ade…so…dorg nak mntk i post it out but as a special moment, i wish not to…sikda privacy bah…

Abis cite makan, sampai cite pantai….sampai2 je pantai, i run like x prnh jmpe pantai b4….actually pantai is my only place dat i can find my peaceful…which is why i love beach da most….mule2 best je…like breathing the fresh air of morning…but u know rite, if x basah pegi beach, u dont have to go beach man…so…i started to kick the water to everyone else….and it goes all the way long…kitorg main baling2 pasir…gile childish abis la tu…main kejar2…my sweetheart ckp main kat pantai mcm org x puase je…we were like so energetic gile….like everyone was high…until the turning point of kejatuhan Roy after dikejar by my sweetheart…die da 1st person to go all wet man….hahahaha….and the rest juz fell like a domino structure….lps sorg, sorg basah….execption cases would be Salaam, Sekam, Jiji n Medi…Sekam dgn comelnye hold Medi pny handbag…thought of capturing the pic but lighting x lawa….but sumthing nice happen last nite…Sara n my sweetheart…dorg like being together for all them time…well…we see how it goes dulu…if perkembangan yg baik, their name should be in the "Teman tp Mesra" list….me n Sara, we have sumthing in common…the way we express ourselves…but of coz…in all aspects, Sara leads me…i dont even come cross to her level of competition….

To everyone, its happiness…to me…my feeling is still like the tide n the wave…sentiase gundah gulana…i dont know if i make a wrong move this time…i dont know if i ever make a right move in my life…i do question my own doubtibility…ppl can read my physical emotion but not my inner…no one knows…until now, i still searching for that 1 person to share my inner feelings…thought i’ve found 1 but…he’s not mine i guess…my friends used to call me sunshine…n i intent to keep it dat way…

All n all, we have so much fun on dat morning….being a child again…Nini once said, "there’s a child in every man"…i guess, yesterday event proves it all…we do have to be child once a while…no harm rite…

till next time…

daaa…

hillie 1203

Sumthing general wit specific ppl involve in it…here it goes…

Couples..

1) Shahir Rafiq & Syarifah Nur Ain

- sweet one…already hit 1 year old of relationship…dulu wktu mule2, bnyk jgk dugaan n cabaran but they manage to get through it dgn baik…communication yg bgs eventhough shepy jenis yg kuat cemburu, koyot handle baik je…xtau la hal dlm selimut kan…but all n all, dorg adelah couple yg sweet tanpe dibuat2…

2) Raja Syafiq Nazmi & Nur Liyana…

-honeymoon couple ni…declared on 7/7/07…syaha jenis mamat yg caring as far as i know him…liyana is a tough gurl…xleh nak judge bnyk coz they still new….bnyk cabaran jgk btwn them n committee but i hope they get through it…

3) Shahril & Putri Nur Daniah

- yg ni xleh nak comment coz i dont even know the guy…but frm observation, i can image dorg as a sweet couple…seriously…u guys should dgr cmne put ckp dgn bf kat dlm phone…x blh blah gile…i guess…my conclusion is put jenis yg manje n suke dimanjekan…every gurl suke cmtu kan…

Teman tp Mesra…

1) Muhd Huzaifah & A’ishah..

-ni jenis yg verbally undeclare but physically declare. Mmg x blh blah…kenx kalo tny je, dah kuar jwpn Datuk Siti pny stail…"no comment" or "x paham"…same goes wit asha…but da way they react to each other…sgt sweet…give ppl misintepretation…all n all, i hope the best 4 them in da future…asha is afraid i guess n she wanna makes her option open…kenx myb prefer da way things rite now…dorg suits each other really well..,

2) Shahul Hameed & Shafini…

-ni jenis yg bak kata nini, "pasangan yg zuhud"…juz follow da flow…menarik pasangan ni coz xde org nak bakar sgt…everything under control je slalu…hehehehehe…if they were destined to be wit each other…i hope the best for them…

3) Johan Iskandar & Raja Diana Madihah…

-ni pasangan yg baru je dikenakan…hahahhaha…started wit medi pny story yg die mimpi sekam masuk meminang die….n die x suke sume…hahaahha…typical malay story of rejection…her fault of telling the story leads to new rumour among us…ni pun if ade jodoh, gonna be nice couple…hope the best for them as well…

Point of this list is juz nak compare how ppl think abt relationship je. Sum of us myb afraid to be in the relationship coz takut comitment…or takut expectation of ppl surrounding…or juz not the time yet to involve in sumthing that is big….

My point of view is both pun ok je…it’s either teman tp mesra or couple…both ade pro n cons…but at dis time, i prefer teman tp mesra coz i am not ready to be in a relationship…i still single n free to be wit anyone n everyone…no boundaries…i can hv as many guy as my friend witout hurting my feeling if da guy reject me at da 1st place….rite now, i feel happy of having 6 titled guy yg kesian jgk kat dorg ni…jd title guy gue…hehehehe…my sayang dah ade kat perth…missing him alot….my darling mcm biase…1 of da ppl dat i can share my inner feelings…mcm abg to me….my baby…ex bf yg i anggap like my best friend rite now…mi novio…die ni chipsmore…kjp ade kjp xde…but bile die ade, he treats me well…my hunnie bunnie…bdk junior yg i love to usha…die chomel…tu je…besides cool…n last but not least, my sweetheart….suke sgt dgn die lately…wat i like abt him is die caring…n sweet…sbb tu die dpt title tu….

till next time…

hillie 1203

Juz wanna share sumthing that i chat wit my sweetheart on our way to Yummy2….

A simple convensation leads to sumthing that i take as a consideration for my future….

My sweetheart said, " hadis pernah ckp, org yg baik akn dpt pasangan yg baik manakala org yg jahat akn dpt pasangan yg jahat. Masalahnye kalo dah org yg jahat dpt org jahat, maknenye die akn bertambah jahat la…cmne die nak jadi baik kalo cmtu?"….

Waktu die ckp cmtu, my heart dah mmg hancur lebur…kalah besi lebur pd 1000 degree celcius…comparing myself dgn die, sapa la saya ni…

Kalo dah hadis ckp cmtu, maknenye saya mmg xde peluang utk dpt org yg baik bg diri saya yg hina ni….azam saya slps breakup dgn zarul is to find sum1 that boleh bawa saya ke arah kebaikan….i found plenty of them….but i’m afraid…coz saya bknnye baik sgt pun….i done many things that i regret of…i juz dont want to repeat da same mistake again…cukupla sekali je in my life….i juz want sum1 that really know me inside out and take me as wat i am….i’ll change for gud….yes, it is hard to do….but if i dont urge myself to change, who else?…no 1 gonna love me da way i love myself….i wished i could turn back time….i really wish….time wit zarul is my precious moment n i wont trade it wit anything but wat i do wit zarul, makes me regret 4 rest of my life….

to my dearest friends….dont do things dat makes u regret in da future….i know its sounds crazy to hear that Rahilah regret on wat she has done in her past….but, when i do reflection of my own….i see an evil Rahilah…da 1 dat i hope to get rid of…erase frm my memory….i wanna build a new life of me….

hillie 1203

sorry for the late update…i dont think anyone care abt it coz no one read my blog, i guess…here it goes…

1. my feeling is like a rollercoster motion rite now…too many things to juggle…busy is gud 4 me…coz i dont hv to bother ppl…but i’m mentally n emotionally tired…

2. i like sum1 & i know he is not going to like me back…as usual…happen to all da guy that i hv crush on…but this guy is a little bit different that any of my crushes b4…i dont know…juz my instinct i guess…at least he didnt freak out when i tell him that i like him…n didnt treat me like farhan treat me…it should be ok…i hope…to that guy, u know who u r, sweetheart…thanx alot…on everything…

3. hmmm…back to the title of this post…destiny…nvr thought abt it actually…until i checked all my high school friends’ profile….most of them in UK, US and Australia…took me sumtimes to figure out that myb Sarawak is my destiny…Sarawak will change the old Siti Nor Rahilah…to either a gud one or bad one…path which i hv to choose n which i hv no answer 4 it until now…sumtimes i’m torn in between…should i be gud or should i stick to my own character…i wanna be me…but i am not proud wit the old me…which i’ve done so many awful things…i guess i hv to b gud…but i feel that i betray myself…coz it is not me….changing is hard 4 me….took me sumtimes to accept everything….by now, i can say that i am 80% over Zarul…another 20% is my deepest feeling for him….which i wanted to keep…like sayang n darling always said, ‘u gonna find a man that suits u well, which complete u in every way’. Hmmmm….gosh, i wish it is that simple….every man that u now, u hope that he can complete u…my Dr Love told me that i was a desperate gurl…u know wat….i think i am…i lost my sense of waiting for a guy to love me or to know me….coz i’m afraid that da same old things will happen…n it kills me that i need to get through it all by myself…friends will always be there but i’m da only want can cure my feelings…i juz wanna get through my uni year wit all cheers n fun…which i kinda hving it rite now…wit my housemates…my darling is always be wit me…my sayang check me once a while…i know my sweetheart will never leave me…i hv ppl to keep me alive….

dats all folks….

until next time….

hillie 1203